Everyone’s at school buying their prom tickets right now and I’m on my way to my mom’s work. On April 26th, all my friends are going to be putting on beautiful dresses and getting their hair and makeup done so they can go to prom and have fun with their dates, and I’m going to be alone, probably not even at Disneyland because I doubt my mom will want to take me and just leave me there. This was the one thing I’ve looked forward to since I was a freshman and now it’s been ruined because a) I don’t have friends that would stick by me throughout the night so I wouldn’t have to be alone and b) Patrick doesn’t care enough to help me have this one special thing. I want to go to prom. I want to be at school right now in a mob of people in the cold waiting to buy my ticket. I want to put on a pretty dress and go to prom. I want to go with him, even if I know there’s a chance that the night will just end up miserable. All he had to do was ask. All he had to do was put in the minimal amount of effort. Bring me Starbucks in the morning and write it on the cup. Spell it out in fries one of the millions of times we go get good. Give me a flower and just ask the goddamn question. Something. Something to show that he gives a damn about me, about how much I love promposals, about how badly I wanted this. I’m so sad. I’m so, so sad.

Of course I want to go to prom. More than I want a lot of things, honestly. But I also want you to put in effort if you’re going to ask me. I don’t want another pencil and marker poster that was last minute with minimal effort. I see my friends getting asked to prom with these big, huge spectacles with roses and obviously a lot of planning and I don’t want people to harass me like they did last time because “he didn’t really try, did he?” Because you never try. I’d rather have nothing than some half-assed attempt. I don’t even want to go with you because I know you’ll end up not knowing what you’re going to wear literally the night before and we’ll have to throw something together last minute like we always have to. Things are always last minute with you. I give you thoughtfulness and planning and all the effort I can muster. Am I allowed to expect even a fraction of that? I think I deserve it. I just wish you felt the same way.